The BIGGEST Challenges and Solutions After You Give Birth to Your Baby
The biggest challenges and solutions after you give birth to your baby are basic but impactful. Some of us become parents after years of anticipation and preparation. While others find ourselves with a happy little accidents running around! Either way, we love our little balls of energy and parenting is hard, but rewarding work.
One of our jobs as postpartum doulas is to help lighten the load even if only for a little while. From the time your baby is born, through those sleepless nights, and well into the first year and even beyond, we’re there to cheer you on! We help by offering an extra set of hands, an objective perspective, an ear, and at times solidarity.
Some of the absolute biggest challenges new parents face are:
It’s that feeling you get for eating over your newborn and dropping bits of food on him. It’s that feeling in your heart when you hear that pitiful little cry as you sneak away for a quiet cup of coffee on the patio. MOM GUILT! It starts with little things and grows to great heights if we don’t put it right in check!
Real Solution #1
Plan to take care of yourself in some way each and every single day from day #1 because it really is healthiest! Learn to say no to other things and to people and say yes to yourself more! You are worth it and deserve to be the best version of you that you can be!
P.S. It strikes harder when you’re expecting baby #2.
In your arms is the most adorable peanut you’ve ever laid eyes on. She is finally here and you can’t help but feel a little sad that your bump is now an empty space that once grew your sweet babe. It comes again as they outgrow those newborn sized diapers and begin to hit even the tiniest of milestones. UGH! Little bouts of sadness and a tear or two now and again sure make a parent feel silly. Turn that silly sadness into something memorable!
Real Solution #2
Baby book those precious moments. Capture them using talk to text in an online journal or notepad on your phone. Be sure to get some photo documentation of those poop-splosions and tiny outgrown socks! Those moments are special and important and while they can strike a cord on our heartstrings from time to time they deserve to be cherished.
There you are half in the shower and the rest of you dripping all over the floor to reach the pacifier in the bouncer seat and shush your newborn. Everyone is back to work and their lives and you just want to get like Shania and “feel like a woman” again. Not a shaven woman, just a woman who smells like a woman! We hear you and we love your dedication, but dry shampoo only gets a girl so far!
Real Solution #3
Have everything you need ready to go before you jump in the shower. Create a sleep space that is as safe as possible for your baby. Then feed, change, and burp the baby. Gently put him down in his crib and walk away slowly grabbing the baby monitor on the way out the door! Get into the shower and do the damn thang! Enjoy the water, let it wash over you like the rain on a summer day! Your baby may cry, but he will be okay. Your body’s biological response is to go to him. That’s normal but remember Real Solution #1.
It’s that forbidden 5 letter word. The one you would trade your favorite Jimmy Choo heels and maybe even your car for! S-L-E-E-P. The nights are long and the days are all blending together. Noone told you it was this tough…okay maybe they did and you were just oblivious because, well duh…you were still kidless with all the answers!
Real Solution #4
The short of it: get sleep! The long of it: Tag team and employ help! Let’s start with the closest player on your team. That might be your partner, your spouse, your mom, or your sister. What other adult is living in your home with you and is co-parenting your kids with you? Tag team! When one person tags in the other tags out! I know you want to team your way through this together, but the team can’t run on EMPTY! Refuel, rest, restart!
Real Life Solution: Employ a postpartum and infant care doula! We do all the things!
Naps during the day and more sleep through the night, heck yes, check! Showers, meals, and snacks, check, check, and check! Help understanding your newborn’s cues, normal behaviors, and breast or bottle feeding, you guessed it, check x3! Toss a load in the dryer, done! Sit and listen to your struggles, yep!! Unload the dishwasher while playing with Suzie and her baby doll, absolutely!