Promises, Promises
Unlike the lyrics from the 1983 song, Promises, Promises says:
You made me promises promises
Knowing I’d believe
Promises promises
You knew you’d never keep
You can absolutely can count on First Coast Doulas to keep their promise to you because we do not make unrealistic promises or guarantees, or feed you false hopes, ever!
If you’re interviewing doulas, inquiring about support, or see them post in a group on facebook promising things like:
“I can make sure you get that VBAC!”
“If you want an unmedicated birth, we will make that happen.”
“A cesarean isn’t in the cards for you. I know a great provider who will approve your VBAC”
“I can help you turn your OP (malpositioned) baby.”
“There’s lots we can do to “turn” your baby.”
“I’ll make sure you stay off monitors and walk the halls in labor.”
“If you go to Dr. Miracle for your care you’ll get exactly what you want!”
or anything of the like, please know that these promises give people the wrong idea about what doula support is and ultimately what professional doulas do.
It’s the truth! Like it or not!
If you are seeking the support of a professional doula, one who knows and stays within a doulas scope of practice and has ethical doula boundaries and you find a doula making these claims?
Run, Forest run!
Keep scrolling!
Smile, nod, and move right on!
All of these ideas will work!
However, if these things sound great to you, I ask you to take a long, hard look at why they sound promising to you?
What is it you are searching for?
Can you make absolute sure you can follow through on those promise to yourself? What about if an emergency arose or you change your mind in the moment?
NO!
Then I would heavily suggest not hiring someone who is making these unrealistic promises?
There is no glory in false claims, honesty really is the very best policy!
Noone can guarantee you a birth outcome aside from guaranteeing that your baby will be born;
full term, before 42 weeks, vaginal, home birth, safe birth, water birth, fast birth, long birth, unmedicated birth, cesarean birth: yes even cesareans can’t be promised, the mom who was scheduled for her cesarean who went into labor early and by the time she realized it was true labor she was pushing a baby out in the hallway of the hospital can attest to that one!
Shoot, even experienced providers can’t promise you these things. They know the things that can change the tides, and are prepared to see you through those changes with the medical support they provide!
One thing that sets First Coast Doulas apart is this;
We know our scope of practice and understand what it means to be a professional doula. In short our role is to support you.
Not to tell you what is best, but to help you work through things so you can figure out what is best for you.
Not to save you, but to support you through whatever comes your way.
Not to protect you, but to help you feel safer.
Not advocate for you, but to help you feel comfortable enough to have your own voice, even if that means you don’t use it.
And, most certainly not to lie to you! That is not a doula’s role, ever!
We support you in your choices, through whatever comes your way, by addressing your questions with honest answers, not false hope!
We can help you work towards your goals for your birth. We’ll listen and help you map out a plan!
We help you prepare in a way that works best for you! We provide comfort to you and your partner in pregnancy, labor, birth, and even into the postpartum year!
We can support you by helping you have valuable conversations with your provider when things arise that are out of our scope of practice.
We can help you create a memorable experience for your birth, one where you feel supported, period!
We won’t sell anyone an unrealistic dream or promises!
A common question we get asked is, “Can you help me get my baby in a better position for labor?”
There is no guarantee that anything you do or anyone else does will “turn” baby. Not your doula, not your provider, not a chiropractor!
Could your provider or chiropractor help your baby turn, yes! There are techniques they can use to help turn your baby!
Will they work?
They may or they may not.
Will baby stay turned?
They may or they may not!
Can First Coast Doulas help turn your baby?
The answer to that is yes and no.
First Coast Doulas are knowledgeable and experienced in gentle exercises that can help make you more comfortable and that may help create space for your baby within the uterus, but we make no promises that it will happen, because we can’t, noone can!
We are skilled in helping you cope if positioning causes issues for you!
At First Coast Doulas it is against our personal and professional beliefs to guarantee outcomes outside of absolute, unbiased support and compassionate care.
What you see is what you get, you are not fed false hopes, dreams, or unrealistic promises, promises!
Phoenix Family Birth, this agency understands the promise we make as professional doulas!
