5 Tips for Bringing Home Your Second Baby
What’s there to know about bringing home your second baby?
You have done this before.
You are already a parent!
Right…
Because you have previous experience you may be a little less nervous about caring for a newborn or the thought of bringing your tiny human home to a busy toddler can be frightening.
First, let me tell you, you can do definitely do this. You may flounder around to find your routine in the beginning, but after some time, you will begin to adapt. Take a deep breath and remember these 5 things to help you transition into your new role as a parent of not one, but two.
It will appear that your first ‘baby’ is now actually a giant
Your first child, even if they are still a tiny 1 or 2-year-old, will look huge when bringing home your second baby. Everything about them will seem big! Their hands, only a few days seemed so small when you held on to them, now engulf those of their sibling’s. Their voice, their scent and their development now seem so far advanced as you are brought back to the quiet whimpers of your newborn. As someone who is a postpartum recovery and newborn care specialist, I have heard clients say many times, “no one ever told me they would look so big.” This alone can be a lot to take in.
What worked for one baby may not work for the next
Feeding and sleeping! Getting to know your firstborn’s likes and dislikes when it comes to the essentials is a great accomplishment. You had mastered your first’s routine in only a few months, this second time around is sure to be quicker! If that were the case, how would they keep life interesting? The behavior and personality of one may not be like the second. During times like these, clients have expressed some doubt before discovering the reason one part of their desired routine is not working. Adjustments will need to be made, but you are capable and you will figure out your new normal.
Know your limits
We give and give and give ourselves to little people who turn around and ask for more with one cue or another. While they are incredibly scrumptious, they can be…and are, equally taxing at times. When we are responsible for the lives of our future, knowing what we can and cannot handle is crucial. That will look different for every family. Do you need organization in your house? Hiring that out maybe what works for you. Does 2 hours a day to yourself help you recharge? Are you a better mother to your children as a working mom? It’s different for every family and it is more than okay to choose to live in a way others may not.
Find your person
Talk to a trusted friend regularly, about anything. Allow their encouraging words to sink in and gratefully welcome their help. When you receive a compliment only say the words, “thank you”. This sounds silly, but it’s important. Don’t brush it off. Don’t couple your ‘thank you’ with a phrase that waters down the compliment you just received. We don’t always receive words that build us up. Postpartum doulas trained to support families with zero agenda are perfect for this role as well. He or she can be your best friend with professional expertise.
Lower your expectations
Hear me on this. Some of the thoughts we have seemed so bizarre that we are sure to be the only ones to think them. When bringing home your second baby will you love her like the first? No, you’ll love her for her and equally as much as the first. How can the second one be cute compared to the first? What if she doesn’t fit in with the rest of us? You are not the only mother to have these thoughts before laying eyes on your new babe and you won’t be the last. Envisioning your bundle to fit right into your family as if you have always known him is a refreshing expectation that can easily be upheld. Expecting the bliss of watching your toddler kiss his little brother in complete adoration to last throughout their childhood years? Well, that’s an expectation to consider holding loosely.
When caring for a child and baby feels like a juggling act you are sure to drop. Come back to these 5 tips, call your doula and remember to take it one day (or even one hour) at a time.
Author: Whitney Teel, Wilmington Coastal Doulas
Whitney is the owner of Wilmington Coastal Doulas! She holds down the day-to-day operations and with a compassionate heart and a listening ear she supports couples as they find their confidence and identify with themselves as self-assured parents! Whitney provides mentorship to doulas who are trained through ProDoula and are working with WC Doulas.
When she’s not slaying the day-to-day office stuff, building relationships and bridges with people in the community, and supporting her clients you’ll likely find her enjoying time with her own family and close friends! If you’re in the Wilmington, NC area and planning to welcome a baby soon you owe it to yourself to check out all that Wilmington Coastal Doulas has to offer!
