Our Fur Baby Died, If I Had a Doula that Day
Over the years I knew that the day would come we would have to say goodbye to our sweet baby. I knew that his average lifespan was only 10-12 years, but the heart never really prepares for such loss.
It was a long week, one of the longest yet shortest weeks of my life.
He had been sick and the medicines were not helping him improve. His quality of life was poor and it was no way to live. He was our fur baby and he was committed to our family. He was a chocolate Labrador retriever, his name was Bud.
I know many of you are animals lovers and can relate to the love I had for my fur baby! At times he aggravated me, but he filled a space in my heart that will always belong to him. He just knew me and understood me like no human could! He never licked my toes, he moved before my feet touched the floor in the morning and before I could ever raise my voice he would get up and exit the room, somehow he just knew.
Our fur babies look at us with eyes so innocent and loving that they really our our babies, just like our kids.
He comforted me when my mother died. He made sure no one ever got through our gate without notifying me first. As I labored alone at home for hours with our last child he was my faithful companion. I did hip circles on my birth ball and he lay in front of me, breathing in the other direction as not to aggravate me. He played happily with our children and his tennis ball was all he ever asked for. He was the first to greet me, and the last to want anything other than love from me.
Our fur baby died, if I had a doula that day she would have validated my feelings and reasons for choosing to euthanize him in a more peaceful way. He had congestive heart failure, he wasn’t going to improve. He was old, he lived a great life! It was a Friday, my daughter and I were alone at home Bud. Our boys were in school and my husband at work. If I didn’t take him in he would have suffered a long weekend.
I couldn’t be selfish, but if I only had a doula she could have helped me talk through this.
Our fur baby died, if I had a doula that day she would’ve been in the know. She would’ve provided me with information support and called the vets in town and who offers the best end of life care for pets. She would have taken some final pictures of me, my daughter, and our fur baby. She would have helped me take him for a last swim! She would have reminded me it was o.k to slow down and take my time if I wanted to.
My doula would’ve sat with our five year old daughter in the other room while I held our other baby as he left this world. She would’ve helped our daughter see that just as birth is normal, death is also normal and can supported and cherished.
If I had a doula she would have held my hand as my daughter and I walked through the store to select flowers to decorate his grave. She could’ve phoned my husband to let him know what was going on, he tried hard to make it home, but couldn’t.
She would have handed me tissues and helped my daughter interacted with the cashier instead of me. The stares I received walking through the store were almost too unbearable for me. I rarely cry and when I do it’s not in front of others, but our daughter wanted greatly to select flowers for our fur baby’s grave.
She could have held me as I sobbed uncontrollably after burying him. It would have been nice to have someone bring me a glass of water on that hot day, and reminded me that it was going to be o.k.
I’m also 100% positive that if I wanted educational support she would have led me to unbiased resources and if I didn’t want those she wouldn’t force those upon me. Some people just don’t want the education or research sometimes.
